Submit Response is a weblog by Jack Mottram, a Raymond & Suzanne
So, I was walking along minding my own business yesterday, when the leading scally in a troupe of scallies called this out:
Hello Raymond!
[Takes a closer look]
Oh no, it’s Suzanne!
Since I have long flowing auburn locks in the manner of a big girly girl, I can see what this young fellow was driving at. And it is certainly more inventive - and much funnier - than the cries of “Poof!” I have to endure every single sodding day of the week, from stunted, screw-faced little gobshites in trackie tops and caps. (Keep up lads - I think you’ll find your average identikit poof looks a lot more like you than me.)
But why Raymond and Suzanne?
Who they?
Can any Scottish folk enlighten me?
-
I can’t clear up the Raymond/Suzanne thing, but I can sympathise. Having long hair myself, I get a fair bit of abuse form the neds.
Funniest is when they call me a Goth.
-
are you sure they were talking to you/
I find it quite hilarious when the local colour tell me I’m pure spotted by the way
no, they’re freckles, and these are stripes, your point exactly?
-
Yip - defo talking to me. I actually said ‘What does that mean?’ to them at the time, but they responded with incomprehensible guttural hooting noises and gestures presumably meant to represent perverted homosexual acts, rather than an explanation. Funny that.
I get ‘Goth’ sometimes too, Gary - spectacularly innacurate, that one.
-
I think that Goth might be an interchangeable term for poof
in my schooldays swot and snob meant the same thing, presumably a person of some intelligence.
-
shut it you snobby, swotty, poofy goths…
as for raymond and suzanne, i can only assume they are referring to the actor/actress in the scally soap brookside, suzanne collins and raymond j quinn…
-
shut it you snobby, swotty, poofy goths…
as for raymond and suzanne, i can only assume they are referring to the actor/actress in the scally soap brookside, suzanne collins and raymond j quinn…
-
what are you on about, ya beardy HIPPY!
-
oddly i never get abuse from neds. in fact, i get an inordinate number of neds saying ‘awright big man?’ which i find even more disconcerting.
a few weeks ago whilst waiting to get into the club with a leopardskin record bag, some ned wandered over. i was waiting for some wry comment about my ‘poofy’ record bag but instead he said ‘awright big man? love your shepherdskin bag’, shook my hand and walked off.
when i had long hair i would frequently get shouts of ‘are you a boy or a girl?’. i usually found that a retort of ‘why don’t you suck my dick and find out?’ would terminate the conversation rather rapidly. i should perhaps add that having long ago mastered the art of giving neds the impression that i might possibly be a total psycho has ensured that no ned violence ever resulted from that quip.
-
I would like to dedicate this to Gape, who wrote a message on the 13th of March 2004. ]
Well, Gape, whoever you may fucking be, I would just like to get this into your thick pathetic brain, Brookside is not a soap for scallies at all. I live near Liverpool, the same place were Brookside came to life. Even though I don’t rememember watching it, I have watched videos of it, and I think it is fantastic.
I am also good friends with Suzanne Collins, and I find it sickining that you would want to write something harsh about her. Your just fucking jealous that she got the role of Nikki Chadwick in the soap, not you. Well NEWSFLASH bitch, Suzanne was the lucky one, not you. I would describe Suzanne as being a lovely, caring, beautiful young lady, with a fantasticly made career, unlike you.
And as for Raymond Quinn, I don’t really know him personally, but it seems to reflect a response that your just plain jealous about him being famous, like Suzanne is.
So to clear of this statement, keep your fucking comments to yourself you nasty cow.
With all my love, Me :]
9 Comments
Jump to comment form